1. Jesus Christ and my relationship with him. No matter how far I stray, he always let's me come back.
2. My husband who is a wonderful father to my children and an unconditional lover of me.
3. My two little boys who never stop loving and laughing.
4. My wonderful family who know what it means to be a family.
5. America, the land of the free and home of the brave. Although it's changing far from what our forefathers wanted it to be, we still have our freedom of religion and the chance to share Christ with others, not to mention we are in the top 10% of the richest people in America, just by owning a car.
6. The neccessisties of life, and the money to buy more. Praise the Lord for his goodness.
7. Time that I'm able to spend with my family. Not every family gets to enjoy the Holidays together.
8. God's plan for my life, although I do not know where it will lead.
9. The beauty of God's creation...as I looked at the beach today, I still stand in awe of HIM.
10. Each breath I take on earth...One day those breaths will cease and I will stand in HIS presence, which will be AWESOME, but as I wait, I am thankful for this opportunity here.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Running For God or From God?
On October 14th my world came crashing to a halt. I had been so worried/excited about my volleyball game that I failed to check my cell phone for messages all day. When we stopped at a service station, as we were making our trip back to school on the bus from Topsail, I noticed a new text message on my phone. The words just seemed unreal. Tim had lost his job. What was happening!
Tim and I have spent the last 6 years, moving from place to place. Granted, each move has had some rhyme or reason, it all ends up in a jumbled heap of facts that sound more like a bad adventure than a life. We've lived in 7 different houses in 5 different cities in 6 years. In all but one year, we either moved or had a baby. We've lived with my brother and his family, my parents (twice), and are now living with Tim's mom and grandparents (in the apartment that adjoins our house). We've slept on mattresses on the floor, air mattresses, and couches. We've stayed in basements, 2nd floors, and a dining room divided with a curtain for privacy. We've put in 3 new dishwashers. We've painted 20 different rooms. We have 2 children born in 2 different states who have attended 3 different daycares.
When Tim's job was taken, it led to the question: Have we been running for God or from God? I can't answer that question. So many times along this journey, I have felt that each step was toward a closer perfect plan that God has for us, but did God really call us to move halfway around the country and move this many times to follow Him? Does this madness really equal God's will? When I have said in that past that a peak into the future might scare me, it was the understatement of the year! If I had been told on my graduation day what my future held with all of these different moves, I would have quickly bolted to the closest employment office and asked for a job in a permanent location without the freedom to leave! I would have never signed up for this had I known the logistics of this journey, but the emotional bond that was created throughout this journey has poured a foundation for our future in Christ.
Although Tim and I loved each other on our wedding day, it does not hold a candle to the love that we have for each other today, nor the spiritual and emotional bond we have formed. There have been dark days of uncertainty, but for 99% of our journey, the Lord has enabled us to grow closer to each other through Him. He has carved a path through the mountains and the valleys and bridged the rivers and reguided our misfortunes.
Tim has been called by the Lord to seek out a new vocation, to make ministry is full time work. Have the paths we've followed brought us to this new path of ministry further along the journey or have the paths brought us back full circle to begin again, the path of God's wonderful plan? I guess it is like an illustration I heard one time, about a man running into the woods. How far can he run into the woods before he begins running out of the woods? Halfway...for when he gets halfway, he is then running out of the woods. Did we begin running back to God halfway through our journey?
Has our journey been one of coming back to the Father or has the journey been a parallel of God's plan all along? Are we just meeting another fork in the road that offers the opportunity to change paths? Would the path we are on now continue to take us in the same direction? Sure, we can continue a close relationship with God without taking the new course, but what opportunities are on this new path? Would we spend another 6 years wandering in the wilderness? Have we spent 6 years in the wilderness? Did we spend 3 years running from God, and 3 years running back?
All I know is that we have been broken before the Lord. Sometimes it takes our brokenness to be reshaped by the potter's hand. The Lord has His hands on us and He will continue to shape us in the direction He would have us go. Does that mean God is preparing us for more venturing or a new life of settled restlessness? I do not want a peak into the future anymore because our 6 year journey in retro is much easier than a 2 year glimpse of speculation. I am broken and ready for Him to use me, even if I must stay in the fire a while longer.
Tim and I have spent the last 6 years, moving from place to place. Granted, each move has had some rhyme or reason, it all ends up in a jumbled heap of facts that sound more like a bad adventure than a life. We've lived in 7 different houses in 5 different cities in 6 years. In all but one year, we either moved or had a baby. We've lived with my brother and his family, my parents (twice), and are now living with Tim's mom and grandparents (in the apartment that adjoins our house). We've slept on mattresses on the floor, air mattresses, and couches. We've stayed in basements, 2nd floors, and a dining room divided with a curtain for privacy. We've put in 3 new dishwashers. We've painted 20 different rooms. We have 2 children born in 2 different states who have attended 3 different daycares.
When Tim's job was taken, it led to the question: Have we been running for God or from God? I can't answer that question. So many times along this journey, I have felt that each step was toward a closer perfect plan that God has for us, but did God really call us to move halfway around the country and move this many times to follow Him? Does this madness really equal God's will? When I have said in that past that a peak into the future might scare me, it was the understatement of the year! If I had been told on my graduation day what my future held with all of these different moves, I would have quickly bolted to the closest employment office and asked for a job in a permanent location without the freedom to leave! I would have never signed up for this had I known the logistics of this journey, but the emotional bond that was created throughout this journey has poured a foundation for our future in Christ.
Although Tim and I loved each other on our wedding day, it does not hold a candle to the love that we have for each other today, nor the spiritual and emotional bond we have formed. There have been dark days of uncertainty, but for 99% of our journey, the Lord has enabled us to grow closer to each other through Him. He has carved a path through the mountains and the valleys and bridged the rivers and reguided our misfortunes.
Tim has been called by the Lord to seek out a new vocation, to make ministry is full time work. Have the paths we've followed brought us to this new path of ministry further along the journey or have the paths brought us back full circle to begin again, the path of God's wonderful plan? I guess it is like an illustration I heard one time, about a man running into the woods. How far can he run into the woods before he begins running out of the woods? Halfway...for when he gets halfway, he is then running out of the woods. Did we begin running back to God halfway through our journey?
Has our journey been one of coming back to the Father or has the journey been a parallel of God's plan all along? Are we just meeting another fork in the road that offers the opportunity to change paths? Would the path we are on now continue to take us in the same direction? Sure, we can continue a close relationship with God without taking the new course, but what opportunities are on this new path? Would we spend another 6 years wandering in the wilderness? Have we spent 6 years in the wilderness? Did we spend 3 years running from God, and 3 years running back?
All I know is that we have been broken before the Lord. Sometimes it takes our brokenness to be reshaped by the potter's hand. The Lord has His hands on us and He will continue to shape us in the direction He would have us go. Does that mean God is preparing us for more venturing or a new life of settled restlessness? I do not want a peak into the future anymore because our 6 year journey in retro is much easier than a 2 year glimpse of speculation. I am broken and ready for Him to use me, even if I must stay in the fire a while longer.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Holidays (Tag Your It!)
Okay, so I got tagged by my buddy Paula, who is enjoying the fine weather in Budapest, while I live here by the beach, hee hee. We just put up our short sleeves last week! HA!
Anyway, I'm supposed to post 7 random things, but I thought I'd veer off in the direction Paula went and give you 7 things about my Holiday traditions.
1) My family's holiday traditions include hot dogs and deviled-egg sandwiches on Christmas Eve, along with the opening of one gift from each other. Santa brings the rest later.
2) My dad watches Christmas movies year round, and during high school, I got so tired of watching Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life (the only two he had) that I began buying him a new Christmas movie every year. Now he's got a ton and as much as I hated it then, when we visit my parents in the fall of the year, I always try to talk the family into watching one of the Christmas movies.
3) My parents grew up in the foothills of NC, so it was always cold at Christmas. They refused to buy any of us kids a bike for Christmas because they said we wouldn't be able to ride it until Spring. My parents broke that tradition when I turned 12, and by far its one of my most favorite Christmas presents.
4) On Christmas Day, we always put on our new clothes and go visit my grandparents. We always took one of our new presents to play with and show off. No matter how old I get, I still follow this tradition as best I can.
5) Tim proposed a few weeks before Christmas, so this time of year is always really special.
6) One of my most unforgettable Christmas's with Tim was our 2nd Christmas in Kansas when Tim's mom, sister and her husband decided to fly out to celebrate Christmas with us. When they got stuck in Cincinnati, Ohio and could only get a flight to St. Louis, Missouri (the other side of the state from Kansas), we thought we'd hop in the van (we were borrowing from my bro) and just go pick them up in a few hours and be back. Little did we know their flight would be delayed again, and several hours later we ended up in a hotel with no extra clothes, a 9 month old Roman who wouldn't go to sleep, and a 14 hour wait for them to arrive. We ended up finding a store in the mall to buy clothes and we were able to pick them up and head back to our house in time for Christmas Eve.
7) We started a new tradition last year of wrapping the boys presents each in one distinct wrapping paper. I totally stole this idea from someone else's family traditions, but we really love it! It made handing out presents to the boys MUCH faster and made our picture of the tree much cooler. THANKS!
Happy Holidays EVERYONE!
And I have no idea who will take this tag...I don't think 7 people even read my blog...but if you do, please list 7 random things people don't know about you, or try the holiday spin!
Anyway, I'm supposed to post 7 random things, but I thought I'd veer off in the direction Paula went and give you 7 things about my Holiday traditions.
1) My family's holiday traditions include hot dogs and deviled-egg sandwiches on Christmas Eve, along with the opening of one gift from each other. Santa brings the rest later.
2) My dad watches Christmas movies year round, and during high school, I got so tired of watching Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life (the only two he had) that I began buying him a new Christmas movie every year. Now he's got a ton and as much as I hated it then, when we visit my parents in the fall of the year, I always try to talk the family into watching one of the Christmas movies.
3) My parents grew up in the foothills of NC, so it was always cold at Christmas. They refused to buy any of us kids a bike for Christmas because they said we wouldn't be able to ride it until Spring. My parents broke that tradition when I turned 12, and by far its one of my most favorite Christmas presents.
4) On Christmas Day, we always put on our new clothes and go visit my grandparents. We always took one of our new presents to play with and show off. No matter how old I get, I still follow this tradition as best I can.
5) Tim proposed a few weeks before Christmas, so this time of year is always really special.
6) One of my most unforgettable Christmas's with Tim was our 2nd Christmas in Kansas when Tim's mom, sister and her husband decided to fly out to celebrate Christmas with us. When they got stuck in Cincinnati, Ohio and could only get a flight to St. Louis, Missouri (the other side of the state from Kansas), we thought we'd hop in the van (we were borrowing from my bro) and just go pick them up in a few hours and be back. Little did we know their flight would be delayed again, and several hours later we ended up in a hotel with no extra clothes, a 9 month old Roman who wouldn't go to sleep, and a 14 hour wait for them to arrive. We ended up finding a store in the mall to buy clothes and we were able to pick them up and head back to our house in time for Christmas Eve.
7) We started a new tradition last year of wrapping the boys presents each in one distinct wrapping paper. I totally stole this idea from someone else's family traditions, but we really love it! It made handing out presents to the boys MUCH faster and made our picture of the tree much cooler. THANKS!
Happy Holidays EVERYONE!
And I have no idea who will take this tag...I don't think 7 people even read my blog...but if you do, please list 7 random things people don't know about you, or try the holiday spin!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sleepless in Bettie
For the past week, we've been sleepless in Bettie. Right here is the reason...
We've tried everything to get him to go to bed. We've tried walking him back to bed and threatening to spank, we've tried sitting next to his bed and rubbing his back, we've tried laying down with him (which he continues to play, while you fall asleep and wake up 2 hours later to find he's done the same), and we've even tried the Super Nanny thing where you just walk him back to bed without speaking to him....All in vain my friend. Not consistent enough or whatever, we just couldn't get him to go to sleep. So, 5 nights, countless hours of sleep lost, minus all of the schoolwork I could have been doing, and 1 night spent on the couch, we finally did the unthinkable. We closed his door. Now, I really don't want to give him a complex, but we don't have our kid gates here (they're still in Robersonville) and I really don't want to freak him out, but he slept with his door closed from last September until we moved here in April. So really he's used to it. And he has a night light. So, we finally just did it. He cried for less than 5 minutes and he was OUT like a light. Oh and the new little toddler bed we bought him, nope, not interested. So he's sleeping in Roman's twin sized car bed and Roman, who wanted the new toddler bed when Raiden first got it b/c it's Lightning McQueen, is in his. So, the little one is in the big one and the big in little. Oh well, it's 11 o'clock and they've been asleep for a few hours, that's all that counts, right?
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